The Strange Phenomena
by Dreamscapes Symphonic
Summary: Several times a year a strange noise is heard from the band room. What could it be? CHAPTER 7 UP! END!
1. Default Chapter

It was heard at several different intervals over the school year. The high school students and staff lived in fear of it. They'd studied the phenomena carefully and could predict, approximately when it would occur. But once in a while there would be an unexpected rumble and it would begin. The terror came from the music wing, more specifically the band room. The surrounding classrooms did their best to survive.

Early one morning there was a familiar shaking deep in the foundation of the school. Chaos began within the walls. Students were crowded into classrooms, the rooms were locked, and everybody waited with bated breath for the terror to be over. Then, from the very heart of the band room the noise began. The sound of nails on a chalkboard. No, the sound of a dentist's drill. No, the sound of some creature mortally wounded and giving its death cry. "Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you."


	2. Who You Gonna Call?

The school couldn't take it any longer. Something had to be done. The principal, the assistant principal, the staff, and the student council met in the principal's office to discuss the terrible events. "What do you propose we do?" asked the student council president. "I say we kill them all with a stick!" the secretary cried. The principal swatted him with a rolled up newspaper. "Quiet you!" he snapped, " That wouldn't work. Word of that would get out and our careers would be ruined. Do you like your school government job?" "Let's get back to business gentlemen," the gym teacher said, "Does anybody have an idea?" "Maybe we can call someone in." the cooking teacher suggested. "But who you gonna call?" the assistant principal asked. "It's time to bring in the BandBusters." 


	3. Mommy!

The BandBusters were called in immediately. The principal led them down to the band room. "Is this the only place it's heard?" Dr. Sprinkler asked. "Yes," the principal replied, "Please tell me there's something you can do." "I do believe there is." Dr. Stink added. "But it will cost you." Dr. Vainman added. "How much?" "A flute and thirty hall passes." "Deal. Just please end this nightmare." The BandBusters slipped into the band room just as the school began to rumble. In seconds, the sound of screaming filled the air. "We ain't scared of no ghost!" Vainman yelled over his shoulder as the BandBusters fled, "But we are terrified of that band! Mommy!" 


	4. infomercials

The BandBusters had failed. The principal sat devastated in his office, eating chocolates and watching infomercials. He didn't think he would ever be rid of the dreadful noise. "Be rid of your pesky band problems forever!" the TV announcer exclaimed. The principal turned to the TV so fast that the box of chocolates flew off his desk and into the front office where it hit the secretary in the head. "With the new Band-Be-Gone you can be rid of that band in three days or less guaranteed! Just call 1-800-556-BAND! I repeat 1-800-565-BAND!" The principal scratched his head in confusion, then copied the number down. Band-Be-Gone. Was it the answer to their problems? 


	5. BandBeGone

The principal walked into the conference room carrying a large sack. "What's in the sack?" the secretary asked. "Yeah, what's in the sack?" everyone chimed in unison. The principal dumped the sack onto the table. Three hundred rubber chickens fell out. "This is my sack of rubber chickens." He said, "And this," He pulled a large spray bottle out of his shirt pocket, "Is Band-Be-Gone, the answer to our problems." "Oo" everybody gazed reverently at the bottle. "Quick! The band is at lunch now! We will spray every inch of the band room. Then they will not be able to get in. If they can't get in, they can't rehearse. If they can't rehearse, they can't sing!" "Hooray!" everybody cheered. The principal and the math teacher sneaked down to the band room. When they left, the can was empty and the room was filled with choking green smoke. "This had better work." The principal said, "For a hundred dollars out of the school budget, it will work." He went downstairs to get a cup of that toxic sludge teachers call coffee. Then he went to his office to work on his rubber band ball. As he approached the office, the familiar rumble shook the floor. The principal was furious as he sailed through the air. He hadn't stopped rehearsal from coming. It came. "Somehow or other, it came just the same!" The horrible sound. Like a cat being beaten with a violin. But it wasn't coming from the band room. It was coming from his office. "NOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!" 


	6. evil spirits

The principal screamed in frustration from the floor of the janitor's closet, his new office. The school couldn't go on much longer with this evil. Evil! That was it! He would get the typing teacher to perform a ritual to get rid of evil spirits. If anyone could do it, the typing teacher could. That afternoon during band rehearsal, the principal and the typing teacher built a small fire outside the band room/ principal's office in the bell of an extra sousaphone. "Abite, molesti spiriti!*" the typing teacher yelled. There was a flash of light, then an odd quiet from beyond the door. The principal cautiously peered inside. The ritual seemed to have worked. The band director and the entire low brass section were gone. The woodwinds, high brass, and kazoo section looked around curiously, then began to sing to the kazoo section leader, who's birthday was that day. The principal and the typing teacher fled, screaming down the hall. 


	7. angry mobs and birthdays

Nothing else had worked. There was only one thing left to do. The angry mob met up in the conference room. There they took out their torches and pitchforks. After the principal had taken attendance they set off for the band room. The principal knocked on the door. "Who is it?" the band director, who had somehow come back, called. "It's an angry mob." The principal replied. "Come in, but be careful not to trip on the cases on the floor." The principal opened the door and the angry mob filed in, tiptoeing around the instrument cases. "If you don't mind, we're going to light your classroom on fire and chase you all out of town." "No problem." The band director said cheerfully, "Say, isn't today a special day?" Special day. Why was it a special day? The principal gasped and his eyes lit up with glee. Of course it was a special day. It was HIS BIRTHDAY! "Happy birthday to you." The kazoo section blew a note. "Happy birthday to you." The entire band and angry mob were singing. "Happy birthday dear principal." Now the BandBusters were there. "Happy birthday to you!" The principal laughed and clapped his hands, jumping up and down. There was no way of getting rid of the phenomena, short of feeding the band to hungry crocodiles, but the principal supposed he could live with it for now. If things got bad, there was always the pool of crocodiles under the gym.  
  
THE END  
  
*Thanx so much for reading my insane dribble. But never fear, I will be back. Or maybe you should fear. * 


End file.
